My heart is heavy with sadness
that we all seem to feel for the families that lost little lives way too soon a community that lost leaders, all families loved ones. My daughter is in kindergarten and I sat and pondered as I learned about the news through Facebook. I began to tear up as I could not even imagine, fathom what those parents of those little 5-6 year olds are going through or the thought of “what if” that was us. As we have learned people can snap anywhere at anytime of the day, it doesn’t have to be a school now, it happens in movie theaters. But what can we do better as a society?
On Facebook, I keep seeing who is this crazy person that would shoot 5 year olds? What kind of crazy world do we live in? And now I am seeing signs and postings for stricter gun laws. This is NOT about what is going on in this world, it is about what is NOT going on in our hearts and souls. Broken hearts and souls that are suffering and feeling there is NO where to turn is what leads to sad news like today.
You see, it is not guns, it is not knives, it is not stricter laws, it is what we are NOT doing as a society to help the broken hearts and souls. They are lost and lonely and this is what causes these sad moments in our lives. We can have all the gun control we want, but it will not solve the issue. Something happened to this young man and got lost in the system. No matter the law, how they got the gun, it is the mental and emotional state of each broken human being who feels like they have NO where to turn. And WHY? Why do they feel there is no where to turn? What are we doing wrong? No body wants to be categorized as being “mentally unfit.” It is still a taboo and still a shameful term in today’s times.
Then my mind wonders to how are we raising our kids?
I recall being at a birthday party and there was a little boy who was crying, he was about, a little over a year old. His mother said, stop crying like a baby, and little boys don’t cry. I felt sad for the boy, such a stero type, teaching little boys that it is ok to cry and be sensitive is important for them to learn how to express their feelings. Perhaps this young man had suppressed feelings from his parents? I don’t know, but what I do know is our brokenness stems from our childhood..
I am so grateful for my daughter’s school who has the tools in place to help children and parents deal with issues such as depression, anxiety, even how to get though difficult parenting times. A Biblical based school, we just finished a Peacemakers study in teaching kids conflict resolution, a step they define as character building, (raising kids to be Heaven bound, not Harvard bound) as these are skills they will need every day in their lives as they mature into this world. I just finished the adult version too, so even I am convicted in how I resolve conflicts. It helps all of us to make peace and be at peace with all.
Speaking of peace, it breaks my heart to see so many that don’t have peace in their hearts. It begins with Him at home and how we raise our kids in a positive, uplifting environment that teaches compassion, to love and serve others through the unconditional love we give our kidsin which can be reflected and passed down through them. Having stability in our souls helps us to feel more love and peace towards others and understand our purpose in this world. What can we do?
Here are a few of my thoughts:
- I would like to see schools offer parenting classes. Not just one, but a series of classes. It would be worth our tax dollars to begin investing into country’s families, the future of our society. Just as many of us need Continuing Education Classes to better ourselves in our jobs or get a promotion.., what are you doing to better yourself as a parent? Parenting classes offers ways in teaching us to better understand our child at certain phases in our lives so we are better equipped in helping and nurturing them. Schools would have to find a way to get 100% participation rate. Perhaps, if parents want their child to move up to the next grade, it ought to be required to complete a course…
- Schools need to focus a little less on academics and more on developing the character of the child. Even public schools can take time out of their weekly schedule to teach kids as young as five how to resolve conflicts. Learn how to talk it out instead of using our hands, words, or gossip. This teaches them life skills that can be used in the office to even their own personal relationships. Separating kids in the classroom when conflict arises teaches them nothing but to run from the problem. Putting them in detention teaches kids nothing unless they are given the skills to work it out. I mean, honestly, when is the last time you used geometry to solve an argument with your spouse?
- Schools need X amount of mandatory counseling to children of who’s parents are going through a divorce and allow school time for those kids so they have an outlet to discuss and get the help needed. This also allows for the child to get the necessary help needed in case there are any red flags. This young man was a product of a divorce while he was still in high school, who most likely did not get the help he needed.
- Parents need to be involved in their children’s lives, but not be helicopter parents either. Let them be kids, but set healthy boundaries. From what I understand, the mother was tough to live with and particular in how they lived.
- If someone wants to purchase guns, it is their constitutional right, however, there needs to be more thorough background checks. As with pilots, if they want to fly a plane, they cannot have any history of any mental diagnosis. If a person has a history of mental illness or been on medications to control mental illness they or the caretakers of the home should not be allowed to purchase guns.
Remember, we all come from brokenness and we are raising broken children, it is how we are equipped to handle the trials and tribulations of parenthood that helps our children to be kind, loving, compassionate souls in our broken world today.